Welcome to our Healthy Relationships Student Training hub . These pages, videos, and modules are designed to deepen your understanding of respectful and inclusive interactions. You'll learn about consent, effective communication, and setting boundaries. Our resources emphasise inclusivity and diversity, helping you appreciate different backgrounds and identities. We also offer support for those facing relationship challenges. Explore our webpages to build a foundation of healthy, respectful relationships that will benefit you throughout your life.
Harassment and Sexual Misconduct Training (New Starters Only)
As part of our commitment to fostering a safe and respectful learning environment, all students beginning their studies at the University of Cumbria are required to complete mandatory training on Sexual Misconduct and Harassment. This training is delivered through our Virtual Learning Environment (VLE), Blackboard, and is provided by Marshall’s. The course is designed to help students understand what constitutes harassment and sexual misconduct, how to recognise inappropriate behaviour, and how to respond or seek support. This initiative reflects our dedication to ensuring that everyone in our university community feels safe, respected, and empowered to thrive without fear of harassment or abuse.
Consent means that you have given permission, or that someone has given you permission to engage in any intimate activity. Any sexual contact without consent is illegal.
Watch the consent video below to help you understand the importance of consent and the issues around it, so that you can enjoy healthy and respectful relationships, and support others too.
What consent can look like
enthusiastically saying ‘yes’ (this could be the other person saying the word 'yes' or their body language suggesting 'yes' by smiling or nodding)
talking to the other person about what you both want and do not want to do
asking permission or checking with each other using phrases like, "Is this okay with you?"
respecting someone’s choice if they change their mind or say "no" at any point.
This list is not a complete list.
What consent does not look like
a person who is upset, pulls away, seems uncomfortable or is not responding
refusing to accept "no" as an answer
someone pressuring you into sexual activity
someone assuming they have consent because you agreed to a sexual act in the past.
This list is not a complete list.
What the law says about consent
A person consents if they agree by choice, and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice.
A person commits rape if they purposely penetrate (meaning enter) the vagina, anus or mouth of another person with their penis without consent.
A person commits sexual assault if they purposely touch another person, the touching is sexual and the person does not consent.
The law recognises that a person might not have the capacity (meaning ability) to consent due to age or understanding. If someone is under the influence of alcohol or drugs, this can also affect their ability to consent.
The age of consent
In the UK, the legal age of consent to have sex is 16, and anyone aged under 13 cannot consent to any type of sexual activity. It is also an offence to make, distribute, possess or show any indecent or sexualised images of anyone aged under 18, even if they had been created with the consent of that young person.
Additionally, a person under 18 years old cannot consent to sex if the other person has a duty of care or is in a position of authority or trust, such as a teacher, doctor or lecturer.
These laws are in place to protect young people, not to prosecute them.
Active Bystander
Every day, events unfold around us and often, we find ourselves as bystanders. Sometimes, what we witness can be unsettling: acts of discrimination, harassment, or bullying. In those moments, we face a choice. We can speak up and take action as active bystanders, or we can stay silent and passive.
Choosing to intervene sends a powerful message not just to the person responsible, but also to everyone watching. It shows that such behaviour is not acceptable. When these messages are consistently reinforced, they help shape a culture where respect and inclusion are the norm.
Intervening doesn’t always mean confrontation. It can be as simple as not laughing at a harmful “joke,” questioning a problematic social media post, or offering support to someone affected by inappropriate behaviour.
What are unacceptable behaviours?
Unacceptable behaviour may be overt and direct, subtle and more hidden, can be individual incidents or ongoing over a period of time. It may be related to a protected characteristic such as age, disability, race, sex, gender identity or sexual orientation.
How to be an Active Bystander
There are four main stages to the process of being an active bystander:
Stage 1: Notice the event/behaviour.
Stage 2: Interpret it as a problem.
Stage 3: Feel empowered to take responsibility for dealing with it.
Stage 4: Possess the necessary skills to act.
Deciding to intervene: now or later?
There is a choice to be made on whether to intervene during the incident and/or after the incident, and in direct or indirect ways*:
At the time
Direct
Call out negative behaviour: tell the person to stop, say ‘that’s not OK’ or ‘I don’t like that’.
Distract: interrupt the person, change the subject, start a conversation, create a diversion. Applies in a situation you think might become problematic.
Only intervene if it is safe to do so. Ask yourself:are you physically and psychologically safe? Is the person being harassed physically safe? Does it seem unlikely that the situation will escalate? Direct intervention is only the correct response if you can answer yes to all these questions.***
Indirect
Askthe target of the behaviour if they are OK or if they need help.
After the incident
Direct
Ask someone else to step in,inform a manager or senior colleague or report through the appropriate channels afterwards.
Create bystander allies if others witnessed the incident, reflect and consider a joint plan for a) now, or b) in the future.
Indirect
Check in with the person being harassed/bullied afterwards. Even if they say they are fine, recognise the situation wasn’t OK and offer support if they want it.
Strategies for intervening
There are a number of recognised strategies** that can help:
Remember: the Golden Rule is only intervene if it is safe to do so
Know your limits as an active bystander and engage others as necessary or if you do not feel confident about doing it alone.
Conduct conversations in a safe environment for you/the person you are speaking to.
Know in advance how to report concerns – and who to report to (see below).
Further online Active Bystander training is available via the Office for Students website. You will need to create an account, but this is immediate, and the training is free.
We take any reports of bullying, harassment, sexual misconduct or discrimination very seriously. Reports can be made via our You Report, We Support form.
University is often a time when people form new friendships, explore dating, and build relationships that can become an important part of their lives. When everything feels exciting and new, it can sometimes be difficult to recognise whether a relationship is healthy, balanced, and supportive.
Healthy relationships should help you feel safe, respected, listened to, and valued. They are built on strong foundations such as trust, honesty, equality, support, open communication, and respect for each other’s boundaries, choices, and independence.
This means feeling able to be yourself, express your views, spend time with other people, and make decisions together without pressure, fear, or control. In a healthy relationship, both people should feel comfortable saying no, talking openly about concerns, and working through disagreements in a respectful way.
What does a healthy relationship look like?
Respecting each other’s boundaries, including emotional, physical, digital, and sexual boundaries
Communicating openly and honestly
Supporting each other’s choices, goals, and independence
Making decisions together rather than one person taking control
Trusting each other without needing to check up, accuse, or invade privacy
Taking responsibility for actions and admitting when something is wrong
Feeling comfortable spending time together and apart
Signs a relationship may be unhealthy
Sometimes unhealthy behaviours can appear gradually and may be easy to dismiss at first. These can include controlling behaviour, constant criticism, pressure to do things you are not comfortable with, ignoring your boundaries, making you feel guilty, isolating you from friends or family, or making you feel afraid to speak honestly.
If a relationship leaves you feeling anxious, unheard, unsafe, or less confident in yourself, it may be time to reflect on whether the relationship is supporting your wellbeing.
Helpful resources
You can explore these resources for more guidance on recognising the qualities of healthy relationships and understanding the signs of unhealthy or abusive behaviour:
Let's work together to build a community where everyone feels valued, respected, and empowered.
Effective Communication
Effective, healthy communication is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. It involves not just speaking, but also listening actively and empathetically. This means giving your full attention to your partner, acknowledging their feelings, and responding thoughtfully. Open and honest dialogue is crucial; it helps to express your needs, desires, and concerns without fear of judgment.
Non-verbal communication, such as eye contact, body language, and tone of voice, also plays a significant role in conveying your message. It's important to be aware of these cues and ensure they align with your words.
Additionally, practicing patience and avoiding assumptions can prevent misunderstandings. Regularly checking in with each other and setting aside time for meaningful conversations can strengthen your bond. Remember, effective communication is a skill that requires practice and commitment from both partners.
By fostering a respectful and supportive environment, you can build a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
Setting Boundaries
Setting effective, healthy boundaries in relationships is essential for maintaining mutual respect and personal well-being. Boundaries help define what is acceptable and what is not, ensuring that both partners feel safe and valued.
To establish healthy boundaries, start by clearly communicating your needs and limits. Be honest and specific about what you are comfortable with and what you are not. It's important to use "I" statements to express your feelings, such as "I need time alone to recharge" rather than "You never give me space." This approach reduces the likelihood of your partner feeling blamed or defensive.
Respecting each other's boundaries is equally crucial; listen to your partner's needs without judgment. Consistency is key—regularly reinforce your boundaries and be willing to adjust them as your relationship evolves.
Remember, setting boundaries is not about creating distance but about fostering a healthier connection where both individuals can thrive. By prioritising open communication and mutual respect, you can build a relationship that supports both partners' emotional and mental health.
If at any time you feel worried, unsure or just want to speak to someone about any of these topics, please contact use through the You Report, We Support form and a member of university staff will be in touch.
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As part of our commitment to fostering a safe and respectful learning environment, all students beginning their studies at the University of Cumbria are required to complete mandatory training on Sexual Misconduct and Harassment. This training is delivered through our Virtual Learning Environment (VLE), Blackboard, and is provided by Marshall’s. The course is designed to help students understand what constitutes harassment and sexual misconduct, how to recognise inappropriate behaviour, and how to respond or seek support. This initiative reflects our dedication to ensuring that everyone in our university community feels safe, respected, and empowered to thrive without fear of harassment or abuse. -347x271.png)
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